How to Apologise in English (2024)

Alex Case

A detailed guide to saying sorry in English, including basic and more complex apologising phrases

Apologising is one of the most important things to learn how to do well in English, as an unsuitable apology could make a bad situation worse. This article gives some tips on how to apologise appropriately.

Basic English apologies

The basic apology “Sorry (for/ about…)” can be made slightly more formal by adding “I’m…”. After that, the more formal words “apologise” and “apology” are needed. The most basic apologies at different levels of formality are therefore:

Sorry (for/ about…)
I’m sorry (for/ about…)
I (would like to) apologise (for…)
Please accept my apologies (for…)

Stronger apologies

All levels of apology can be made stronger by adding strong words, as in:

I’m (so/ very/ really/ terribly) sorry
I (do/ really must/ wholeheartedly/ unreservedly) apologise
Please accept my (sincerest) apologies

Extending apologies

Giving reasons and promising future action

Perhaps more important than adding stronger language is adding a reason why the thing happened and/ or a promise of future action, as in:

I’m so sorry I’m late. My cat vomited on me so I had to get changed. I’ll come in early tomorrow.
Please accept our sincerest apologies for the late delivery. This was due to the bad weather near Hong Kong. We have already made sure that the next delivery leaves early and goes by a different route.

This is common in English in almost every apologising situation, as not giving a reason makes it seem like you can’t be bothered explaining, perhaps because you don’t think the other person is important enough to explain to. It is therefore often better to have a long and detailed made-up explanation, maybe even one that is obviously false, than to have no explanation at all.

Taking responsibility

The tips above are in contrast to other countries like Japan, where giving a reason why it happened can be seen as not taking responsibility for your mistake and so lessening the apology. If this might be an issue, you can add a phrase like “It was (all) my fault”, as in:

I take/ accept full responsibility for the bad performances in the second half of this season. I had some difficulties dealing with the new tactics used by other coaches. I’ve asked everyone to cut their summer holidays short so we can work on a new way of playing for next season.

Other taking responsibility phrases include:

It was very inconsiderate/ selfish/ clumsy/ thoughtless/… of me.
I wasn’t doing my job.
I should have taken more care (with/ over…)
I regret…
Looking back, I now realise that…
I didn’t live up to…
I take (all) the blame (for…)
You can blame me (for…)
I messed up.
I am in the wrong.
I know it was wrong of me to…
You have every right to blame me for…
I think I went a bit too far
It was inexcusable/ unforgivable of me (to…)

Preparing the ground for apologies

Phrases before an apology like “Don’t get mad” and “You know I said that…” might seem to have the opposite effect of softening the apology and so reducing its impact, but they can be a way of acknowledging that the situation is really bad and so the other person would be right to be angry if the person apologising didn’t try to soften the impact. Similar phrases to prepare the other person for what is coming include:

(Please) don’t be angry.
Don’t kill me.
I know that I promised…
I’m such an idiot.
Don’t hate me.
I don’t know what got into me/ came over me.
Please don’t hold this against me.

These can also be used after apologies for a similar effect.

Other English apologies

There are a few apologies phrases that are more common in English language TV and movies than in real life, such as:

Please forgive me (for…)
I hope you can forgive me (for…) (one day)
I am (so) ashamed (by/ that…)
There is no excuse (for…)
I cannot express how sorry I am (for…)

These can be useful in cultures where such phrases are common, but the standard phrases in the sections above are much more common when speaking English.

Apologies and similar phrases

The related phrases “Excuse me” and “Pardon me” have different uses such as getting someone’s attention and asking them to repeat, so the words above are better than these when you want to say sorry.

Especially in America, staff are taught not to apologise or accept responsibility, but instead to using sympathising language, in exchanges like

My luggage isn’t here. You must have lost it.
I am sorry to hear that.

This is unlikely to satisfy someone who thinks it is the other side’s fault, and so shouldn’t be confused with actually apologising.

Similarly, giving bad news language like “I am sorry but the flight has been cancelled” and “I’m afraid we are closing early today” is not quite the same as an apology and so is not enough if the other person expects an actual apology.

How to thank people in English
Functional language – apologising
Functional language – giving bad news
Survival English – sorry
For teachers – fun apologising activities